Untitled
As thoughts went through my mind... be it in train... Bus.... while im alone.... i realise 2 issues that has been going on in my life (although there is more but think 2 will be enough)... first is about commitment, second is about about a soul that is hungry...
Well... nowadays... i have quite a handful of things i gotta do... on top of the usual stuff like sch stuff, church stuff... i had other commitments like Tuition, Benny Hinn Crusade Choir, Beach Fiesta, Futsal, Emerge Cybergames School IC... now i have problems fulfilling everything... reason being im very concern with my studies and my studies have not been in good shape.... and being the lazy me whenever i wanna study i will end up doing soemthing else... discipline!!!! yupz... now like beach fiesta im like doing nothing ... and futsal i doing the bear minimal... feel kind of guilty... guilty in the sense not being very responsible and also guilty of taking so much stuff.... sometimes i just feel like not doing anything and just mug mug mug and be a nerd... but think of it... i should try to do it at the best of my ability... cos is not really about myself... but taking up those is to help my frens... i enjoy helping my frens... yupz... i admit i have small capacity... guess is time to enlarge my capacity...
secondly... i guess many people recently during this year has been facing problems like a hungry soul... a soul that is hungry or craving for love and acceptance... i somehow reminds me that actually im also such person... as you all can see i always smile and being nice... but actually in the past im a selffish freak and always "PMS" one.... being growing up in a traditional chinese Family... i really thank God that my family has been providing me materially... but emotionally i seem to be very empty.... so i do crave for love and acceptance most of the time... so i do understand how my frens feel too... thats y sometimes i feel quite desperate to look for a soulmate... in fact most of the time ... oopps... :P and on top of that i have being rejected quite a number of time in the past in getting into a relationship that really shatter my confidence... plus i never got attached before... i feel like a failure at times... yup really thank God for giving me the support i need... used to be a very insecure person... after 5 years in church... i felt that i become much stronger and more secure person.... seeing things in a different way.... putting others first instead of myself... although there is still traces of my imperfectness... but overall im am grateful... yeah...
Yup wanna say sorry to anyone i had not delivered my promises... really very sorry.... and lastly trying to keep this post short... will share the things in greater details when the time comes :) take care my frens! oh yah wanna thank all the frens that have been showing me care, support, ,encouragement and the listening ear!! lots of them... but wanna name a few... really appreciate them... ppl like my besties in school, Ah neh, Ah Zhu, Kenneth, Yvonne, Geri, Teck, rachel, dantou, ching cheng, Georgina, ting wei, dawn, leila, leong and more... actually most of the simplyscandalicious Gang! love ya lots! and not forgetting my other frens in NUS!!! hahaha the list goes too long!!! maybe one day i shall put a post specially to thank ppl.. yeah!
