The Cove

Secret of illegal dolphin fishing industry exposed... Trailer at.... http://www.thecovemovie.com/

2am And The Rain Is Falling

Yupz currently is near to 2am... heavy downpour outside... currently sitting in the Sports Club Exco room typing this blog at 1.45am exactly.... while yau png and Boon Hui was bathing... i was left alone in the room... i pondered a lot of stuff.... dats the danger if u leave me alone... i will start to ponder things that are very negative.... guess i am in a transition area where i refused to move out from the old season... searching for job is not easy at this current downturn where there is a lag in the labor market even if the economy shows signs of recovery....

Sitting in the room... I've been thinking about my past 3 years in university... is been ups and downs in my life... i personally went thru the toughest period of my life emotionally ever since i left poly... now i have graduated... feel a bit lost... maybe when i found a job i might feel better being occupied.... currently i put myself in a situation not to expect much things in order to protect myself not to fall down hard from expectations not met... if i am very pessimistic ... pls pardon me cos i just wanna protect myself emotionally... after been thru so much... now i also adopt a hint me i only move mindset.... maybe thru all these i might make myself more comfortable emotionally.... now wad i really wanna do is to get a job and move on.... hoping one gd Samaritan will pick me up one day....

I guess wad i need is wad many ppl need deep down honest in their hearts... acceptance, appreciation and love.... i tried to find in a church but apparently i did not really find it... to be honest i have not been to church for almost 2 months... is a mixed feeling... i feel happy yet i feel sad... happy i cut myself away from bad experiences and stay away from people that potential can trigger something but the sad part is dat i feel so far from God Himself.... i have dilemma to go to church and not to go... but many of the time i chose not to go cos i feel kinda weird in church if i were to go....

Indeed i feel very "naked" when i am alone... sometimes i think i really need professional help... i am going insane.... i really hate the feeling i felt inside me.... especially at night and times i am alone... this is very scary... till i feel come bring me Home oh God.... i dunno when i can come out of this... many ppl told me to love myself and esteem myself higher than others see in me... but i find it pretty hard.... I hate being alone... cos i think thoughts that i make my heart sink... thoughts that poison my heart... thinking abt the FML situations i had and more.... my spins very fast.... so yeah.... it is murdering my soul....

I guess this is not the 1st time i express my inner thoughts.... some ppl critize me some ppl concern about me.... this is my blog i have the right to express how i feel.... guess this is the only revenue to vent my emotions and fustration out.... ppl can choose to read or not... rather i tell them and irritate them.... so if u think this is too emo for u... dun read then... and to those ppl who post ugly things on my tag board and dun dare to admit who you are... i also feel sad for u dat u have the guts to comment but no guts to admit who u are....

Life Of A Unemployed Graduate

Sports Clubroom seems to be a place i hang out the most compared to other places.... somehow i have a sense of place with NUS and Sports Club after doing and helping with so many events like Sports Camp 2008, Sports Camp 2009, Run NUS 2009, Netballuxion 2009... being hanging out with sports club ppl until i felt a strong urge that i should run for Sports Club 30th Management Committee as Vice President or Hon. Gen. Treasurer if i am still studying in NUS as an undergraduate. I even have ideas like being a Sports Officer in SRC to be part of NUS Sports Community. Well all these can only be fantasy as for now cos i had already graduated from NUS and SRC has no openings. I am also happy i know some great frens in sports club like Zhong Hao, Yau Png, Boon Hui, Jocelyn, Fan Yun, Ming Jiao, Jieyi, Shuyi, Keng Yong, Weilun, Xinying and many many more... too many to name... yupz i had gd time hang out in clubroom so far now...

Applications after applications are being sent in... going for several interviews... currently no job really spur an strong interest in me to take up. All the jobs i prefer did not get back to me like from LTA and STB... tml going for another interview being a management support executive 2.4k job... i hope it will be a gd job...

Finally i got an interesting idea... i wonder if it is possible NUS OED or OSA get rid of great wall resturant and bring Popeyes Chicken or KFC.... right below sports club room. so i can have gd food and visit sports club ppl.... gd idea right? Especially Popeye Chicken should be brought in NUS cos in the east and central there are outlets... but not the west... hmmm NUS student should voice this out and bring them in!

Job Search

Job search so far has been tough in such period... all the companies whom express interest recruiting me are financial planning and wealth managament... which somehow i am not interested in... today i received a call from a recruitment agency whom arranged an interview with me being a business development manangement trainee... my very first interview... i should give a shot to it... if success gd... if not is my chance to get exposed to a formal interview with an employer... so far been sending out resumes after resumes... job application is a tedious job and very demoralising if companies dun get back to u after sending 10s and 20 application which u need to fill them up online one by one over and over again...

Recently i am very lost especially when NUS school term starts... now currently i am involved in Run NUS and it seems dat i can't bear to leave school.... NUS is a place i really experience a lot of changes in my life.... really been thru a lot academically and also emotionally.... i really really hope once i step in work life i can find a new meaning of life once again... or even be back to the positive me... there is a lot of things on my mind... but i guess i am not going to share here cos there are many F**kers out there.... so well if u really wanna know u gotta dig it out from me personally...

Toh Yi Drive

Toh Yi Drive is the place i grew up from a children to a teenager for a period of 10 yrs since end of 1989 to mid of 1999... It is the place i spend my happiest decade in a nice and peaceful nayborhood environment.... everytime i goes back to Toh Yi Drive... my heart is filled with excitement and nostalgic feeling that i am back to place i grew up... many fond memories keep reminiscing in my mind.... there is a few accounts that i purposfully made a trip there and even went up to the unit i lived.... moving out from there really pinches my heart... i still remember the news broke out that we have to move in a few months time really saddens me.... On the day i moved out i feel down and can't bear to... i even ask my parents to let me stay in the empty house for 1 more day to experience it the very last day staying there.... Many fond memories of frens i made there and we are really a sticky bunch which we meet almost everyday after school and during vacations.... the playground is the place we had fun, roleplay and discuss about stuff as a kid.... during my teenage years we continue the tradition (minus the playground playing and roleplaying but we hang out in arcades and food places for supper and even went to town together)... with the same purpose... spending time with one another.... i can still remember the longest frenship i had was with Cher Fong.... we knew each other during tuition when i was primary 3 at a tuition teacher's house.... we still hang out even though i moved out until i was in poly that we lost contact... the other fren i had i hang out mostly when i was in primary school was my naybor Darryl which we play soccer under void decks... i sometimes visted his hse to play... as time pass i knew a fren through cher fong called Raymond Junius that we hang out often to play arcade, eat and even play at his house... staying overnight chiong all those Playstation games and Sega Saturn.... so many fond memories.... i can never forget... its really my happiest 10 years of my life.... i feel accepted though i am bullied sometimes which i took those bullies as acceptance.... i spend most time with ppl and frens.... i even accepted Christ in a house when i was primary 5 during thier so called cellgroup outreach at some person house having egg tarts... yes i can remember i was holding an egg tart saying my sinner's prayer...

After Leaving Toh Yi Drive... i can never find back the company i used to had there... the nearest was during Poly went i met Raymond Ling which he brought me to City Harvest Church... but nothing can be compared to the days back at Toh Yi Drive... I really hope i can meet someone or some people that can bring me out of this and move into a new era where i can remember fondly the times we had and not lost each other until we go heaven.... yes i am thirsty for geniune frenship that we spend lots of time together like a family... which i still searching for willing souls that could make dat dream come to pass... some suggest i should get a girlfren... but is also another source of dissapointment to me due to rejections... yupz... haha i am fine... i can only hope and see wad i can do to make dat dream come to pass...

Thank You!

I never expect this card to be given to me during Hua Cheng's Sports Camp PD Treat... well i was very surprised and touched.... thought i hint runi dat i never receive a photo collage b4 in my 26 yrs of life... but such card alrdy made me feel appreciated and loved... thanks ppl... I wanna take this opportunity to thank my sports camp O comm.... this will be quite long and draggy but such things cannot be missed out or omit out.... First thing First... i wanna Thank....

1) My HR Crew Aayush and Jane... First I wanna thank Aayush for helping me with Councillor and Freshman Recruitment... you da man!!! thought there is hiccups along the way but i truely appreciate what you have done and frenship i had with you! not forgeting the work of being Emcee, Forfiet IC and our official Lorry Driver... you contribute a lot to Sports Camp Kudoos to you! Good job! Next i wanna thank Jane for her help with the administrative works and also some help with Councillor and more help in freshman recruitment.... also wanna thank you for being Aunty Agony for me and also the frenship i had with you... i really appreciate what you did and your contributions to Sports camp outside your jobscope.... My no.1 favourite PA and being there for me when i need help and when i am down =)

2) My Secretary Huimin... Thanks for helping Sports Camp by Dessminating Info to the O Comm... rally the O Comm. and doing the scoring! You are such a nice girl.... MIN MIN! lol...

3) Publicity which is Wen Hao and Felly... Wen Hao thanks for doing all the Singlets, posters and Banner... together with open house stuff... and not forgeting the NUSSU Mailrun! depsite of your busy schedules you still contibute to Sports Camp i really appreciate it and also the frenship we had esp the days we go back our respective home together... thanks fren.... Next Felly... wah... this girl is such a nice girl... not only wanna thank you for your work and effort as a publicity girl... i also wanna thank you for being there for me anytime i need help and company... you are truely a nice sweet girl i know in SC09.... i got so many things to thank you till words alone aren't enough... All the best going to France and take care k?

4) Marketing which is Zhen Biao, Oliver, Yuxi and Justin... wanna thank you all for the hardwork i put into Sports Camp and getting good deals for Sports Camp... wanna appreciate wad u have done especially the irritating follow up with the companies and sponsers... I wanna thank Zhen Biao for the frenship i had with him and always being a nice guy.... take care while you are overseas.... I wanna Thank Oliver for helping out in Sports Camp especially at Frolicks for 5 hours ALONE!.... Yuxi for the nice chats and company home with you... and Justin for the frenship! =)

5) Logisitics which is Terence, Michelle, Sean adn Rudy... i wanna thank you all for being the silent warrior in Sports Camp... your contrubitions are very important to Sports Camp to make Sports Camp a success... thought i dunno you all well... but i do notice you effort and hardwork... nice knowing you alll! Special note to michelle: thanks for helping with the food... which we directors don;t have to worry about it at all feeding the hungry campers... thanks for coming back! Wed JB ah!

6) Programmes which is a lot of people... i shall go through one by one... *Breath on deep breathe* here it goes....

Tashrif! Irritating Emcee for Sports Camp... hahah thanks for planning the beach games and pool games... indeed the freshies had fun... wanna thank you for the help in driving the lorry and the frenships i had with you... telling gd things about me to others while others give me bad comments.... thanks tashrif! 1 Minah for you! :P kekeke...

Next Eunice... thanks for the frenship and the care and concern u showered upoon me.... i will remember what you have done not only during sports camp but also in my personal life.... thanks so much and i appreciate it.... pls pls get new swim suit ok? :P

Next Teddy... wah Sports Camp Gay Boy... but it was fun working with you and wanna thank you for ur effort and contributions during pageant and SP.... you truely bring the fun and whacky element into Sports Camp by being the Forfiet ICs....

Next Geraldine... hahaha wanna thank you for the willingness to help and the efforts you put in during SP and Pageant.. thanks for the frenship i had with you and your willingness to do things that made my life much easier... which i think you are a great fren who is willing to be there and help when times of need... thanks Geraldine, stay pretty and congrates for meeting your yandaos during SG Vs Liverpool haha...

Next wanna thank Shao mei for conducting the indoor and outdoor station games which outdoor station games did not materialise due to bad weather.... i can see you are a silent worker which made the games to be fun and interesting for Sports camp.... really wanna thank you for your effort

And also Valerie thanks for the contirbuting in the station games and the company for dinner with you...

Next Chew Swee... our Sports Camp most Garung and Enthu O commer.... if got such award i sure give you! hahaha thanks for the help in the camp in Nite cycling .... which everyone come back in one pieces in bustling traffic in town... not easy job... thanks for bringing the fun and enthu factor into sports camp being our official Emcee and Fortfiet IC... Think Sports Camp will miss out a lot without you! Therefore I do appreciate everything that you have done... all the best! 1st Class Hons all the way for ur CS! =)

Next Jasalin! wah our Loanshark in times of need man... hahah! wanna thank you for ur effort in Night cycling with Cs... well done job.... Thanks for the frenship i had with you and also i really enjoy working with you... an efficient worker! hahaha hope to see you soon man... you always MIA now sia... my house gathering must come ok? keke! oh oh! i help you submit you claim liao =)

Next Lubin aka LuLu boy hahahaha thanks for the contributions in Amazing Race and the sub club showcases... gd job! thought i never talk to you much... but u had been a gd fren =) great working and knowing you!

Next Carmen our table tennis Champion! hahahah i waiting to have a match to get trashed by you hahah! thanks for ur contribution in Sports Camp! do apprieciate the work and aliasing with the sub club ppl even though u are busy! =)

Next Tamsyn! my fellow partner being a carnivore rawr!! haha thanks for contributing to Sports Camp and your frenship... like company me for lunch in school when i got no company... hahaha i do remember the good times we had in school and in camp! thanks so much for the gd job done for amazing race! tennis soon and BBQ Chix! =)

Sheng Hui! Quack Quack! wah one of our most chio O Commer hahaha! nice knowing you in Sports Camp and also in SAA hahaha! thanks for the hardwork you contribute to sports camp and the planning for Amazing race and the showcases also... indeed i see you put in a lot of effort seeing u often in clubroom making sure amazing race runs well in the planning stages... hahaha i love you whack expressions and your reactions... hahaha it really amuse and make me happy when u react to certain things when my first impression of you of being quiet and very extremely demure... hahah! oops =X

Forgetten about some ppl... not yet... i wanna thank Boon Hui for his rentless effort in helping Sports Camp book venue.... eat all the shellings from SRC and OSA... get air con for the freshies.... accomodations.... wah too many to name... thanks for the hardwork u done in sports camp! i do appreciate your efforts and nice having HTHT with you in clubroom about certain camp issues... haha jia you for school... u quickly grad la.. u also damn old hahah!

Runi! oh gosh.... the little but dangerous one... i very scared when u get angry u know... but nice working with u and understanding me depsite of me being very attitude and lazy at certain point of time... words are definately not enough to express my gratidue to you! indeed you contribute rantlessly to sports camp and helping me with certain stuff... i do do do appreciate ya and thank you for the partnership and alliance with you! =) and not forgeting the small things you done for me as a fren outside of sports camp.... i am really touched by what you done and yupz being my aunty agony during sports camp planning when i almost cannot take it as my capacity quite low one and my inability to multi task.... i know u concerned about my future and keep asking me get a wife... so THANK YOU so much Fathi! :P

Hua Cheng... Thanks for leading sports Camp to a success though what u said during the thank you speech is true being pushy... but i think still managable... cos i all for the sake of sports camp... bringing the best out to the freshman and councillors... i do appreciate of what you have done and i know you have sacrifice a lot for sports camp... though both our working styles very different... but i am glad to work with you..... again words are not enough to expression my gratitude to you of bringing sports camp another level up.... do take care in France and all the best! (We made fun of you cos we love you as o comm hahah!)

Zhong Hao... ahhh! this guy cannot forget one.. cos he is the money man for sports camp! thanks for helping us with the claims and all financial matters... wanna thank your efficiency and help rendered in the camp... thanks for the treat at crystal jade too! =)

In all i wanna thank all the freshman and councillor for making sports camp a success even though H1n1 comes in and disrupt the fun... but i truely hope everyone had fun, enjoyed themselves and most importantly forge meaningful frenships! though i dun have the chance to thank everyone thru the mic... but i wanna take this chance to thank you all!

YOYO SPORTS CAMP!!!!! YOYO WASSUP!!! SC ROX!!!!