Promises Alienation

Every weekend u sit in an environment for many years hoping your life can be changed, following advice of people... but as yrs goes by after hearing so many promises... somehow what u wish for dun seem to come to past.... the word love has been repeated so many times yet u dun feel it... u try to change and hope things gets better in fact it went the opposite... is this part of the plan? seeing people life get better but u seem to sit at the side bench and watch others... never a time is your turn.... the message is love but you dun feel it... instead this is the place where u get hurt the most instead of being love.... ppl keep saying they understand... they dun mind listening... but well is just words... words are cheap.... they simply just stand on the other side and u are struggling to reach them... but they never step out to come nearer to u and they are just too far... u feel very deprived from something which the place should had offered the most... this kind of wound is very deep and hurting.... but i know is not His fault.... you try to love others... but u come to a point u ran out of it.... guess i am in a place where Love is all around but i am not entitled somehow.... i am very tired... really tired.... all i can do is hope and it seems to remain as a fantasy forever... indeed Alienation seems to be a gd word to u.... u are in the place to have it but u just can't have it.... which such idea is birth off by a famous Sociologist, Karl Marx, guess its gonna be a miracle to come out of this...