Friendship

Heyz... well 2 more days to first mid term... and 6 more days to next mid term.. Kind of stressed... just finish doing the sample paper and realised i still need to study a lot more despite of finish studying the formulas for my EC2303... realised i have problems knowing wad the question is asking from me... jialat... need to mug more liaoz... really hope this hell season to be over soon... after these all i left will be 1 more tutorial to hand up and 1 more 3000 word essay to write and present and that will be all the work i need to do and the rest of the time will be mugging!

Anyway was thinking abt friendship... cos my fren go friendship crisis with one fren whereas i am facing friendship crisis with many ppl for the past few months... for my fren her fren somehow becos of a guy that sours thier frenship and now facing a lot of problems as the bum into each other very often and they know each other since thier pri or sec sch days... yeah as for me now is the period where healing of friendship suppose to happen... yeah seriously crossing my fingers that things will turn out well as i am trying my best already... trying not to say wrong things at the wrong time... try not to be overfrenly and try not to read into things so much... although there are struggles to commit those mistakes... but i really hope at the end of the day i will gain back friendship and not only that ... build even a closer and stronger friendship... thru these incident is like a process to go thru to develop people skills... yupz...

Next week after Tuesday will be liberation day! yeah.. thinking of going island creamy haha hmmm... =)

If Change Does Not Come From The Top Voluntarily, It Will Come From The Bottom By Revolution

Today is October 1st... its children's day.... is was 12 yrs ago i last celebrated childrens day... where in school u celebrate it... then in primary sch they give u free gift with the school logo print on it... those were the days...

I suddenly realised i know a few ppl who stay in my hse around through out my stay in JW... first was Weiqiang whom i know through a fren... then followed by Lynn Choo a fren in church and a fren stay opposite my block called melissa... after that i know Sharon in school whom stay near me followed by Gareth... then this year first was Clarice who is my freshie in my OG after that my SP in my church orientation programme in NUS stays exactly the same street same block and same floor.... freaky... next was Jasmine whom also from yellow hse stay opposite street and today... i know a church fren in the most random way... was late for church and wanna took a cab... then i saw her waiting for cab also... at first i dunno who she was but she looks like from church and wanna take cab to church also from her body language.... so i asked her are u going Expo (since sharing cab is so much cheaper from 1 person pay $20+ become 1 Person pay $10+) so i decided ask her wanna share and she agreed.... and during the journey got to know each other and i know she is called Vanessa.... talking about it seem to realised that life is pretty interesting... knowing ppl in such a random and interesting way... hahah just having a random thought after much stress from EC3322 Industrial Organisation Tutorial Due tml... haiz... stress stress stress....

Anyway today went for some men's meeting in church... one of the point spoken was kind of reminded of wat i mentioned before... where autocracy is gd actually... but is gd only when the leader is gd.... yupz the point was

"If change does not come from the top voluntarily, it will come from the bottom by revolution"

This is statement is so true looking at the recently happening in Myanmmar and in the past like the overthrown of Qing Dynasty, The Cultural Revolution in China by Mao Tze Dong, French Revolution and more.... anyway below is the photos of Oweek O comm thank you dinner hahaha more pictures coming in! stay tuned! =)

Mid Semester Break

Hey there... Currently blogging before i go for FASS Students' Club Thank You Dinner at Peninsula Hotel near Funan... Mid Semester Break will be over soon... which marks my Hell week for me in week 7 and 8. For week 7 and 8 mainly i will be having 2 Mid term exams which is EC2373 on Friday of week 7 and EC2303 on Tuesday of week 8 and im not prepared for it!! ahhhhh!!!! So far for the whole week i haven been sick, then started to do my SSD2210 group tutorial presentation and tml will be going to school to do my EC3322 Tutorial which need to be handed up on monday of week 7 which has a weightage of 10%... so any kind soul pls pray for me yeah?

After everything that had happened for the past week i learn many things in fact was reminded about it... yeah... frenship cannot be taken for granted... for me i now just want to be myself... to be a person that is a blessing to my frens around me... therefore i still got lots to change and learn.... a lot of my frens are nice... they have been accomodating and forgiving... I wanna thank the person who took the courage and represent the whole group to tell me the truth... yeah u are being appreciated yeah? how wonderful God place wonderful frens around u... during the bad times i thought i was doom... but chance has been given to me and the truth is being spelt out... therefore now i feel very releived... Indeed God is great... so now i will try my best yeah =)

Recently i have been talking with various frens... on about how to spend our semester break in decemeber... this is what i am considering:

- Diving in Krabi (Thailand)?

- Diving in Cebu (Phillipines)?

- Australia Road Trip?

- Chalet with my OG peeps?

- Bangkok?

- Taiwan?

- Learn something during the Holidays like Enriched Air Diver Course or Wakeboarding?

Interested parties pls msg me online to discuss about it yeah or tag on my tagboard!!! Hahaha... school work is a chore but think of the upcoming holidays i hope i can joyfully spend with my frens yeah... hahaha jia you all my frens who is going thru Sem 1 of 07/08 all the best!!! lets find time to mug and go thru this together!!! Azaa Azaa!!!

Moving On

Was very sick on sunday and today... was diagnosed with gastric flu... slept almost the wholeday today... feel so wasted... wanna study also dun have the strength to do it.. and sunday night was miserable... but now much better... just that a bit dissapointed today miss the Sentosa outing...

Anyway through all the things has happened in the past 1-2weeks... now i am moving on with life... yupz... although sometimes i am kind of worried i might offend someone again... cos i know im not gd with my words... but i will still try my best yeah... so currently hope that my frenship with other ppl will start to heal and will be better! yeah... i know it takes time but hope it does not take too long...

Indeed God and my frens makes up a big deal in my life... they make up my life as a whole... i keep saying thanks cos i know such things cannot be taken for granted like frens... it takes a long time to build frenship but out of foolishness a frenship no matter how close it can be with just a mistake will cause the frenship to be on the rocks... yeah...

Truth Brings Reconciliation

Uncertainty finally starting to fade its way... the Truth soemtimes hurt initially... but only the Truth shall set u free.... somehow i feel that the truth really sets one person free... and when truth is being surfaced... reconciliation and forgiveness comes... but thinking have to be changed in order to have an inward change in mindset and naturally outward change in action...

I really wanna thank (I keep thanking ppl haha) my group of frens who come together and send someone to tell me the truth... i am really grateful that my frens would take the effort to come together to discuss wats wrong... i am very touched and i feel assured by ur efforts and what u all did... cos if they dun care they would not have done those things... yupz... somehow what is being mentioned is the truth... its hurts initially but after a while... it really somehow let me thought thru... what he (they) really helps me by knowing what i should not do now... so that i can start to bridge frenships with my circle of frens once again.... i will try... i know is kind of hard and it takes time...

I know i gotta watch what i speak and stop thinking too much and reading too deep or even having some wishful thinkings... yupz... i seriously need help too... cos i know its not easy! cos i realise such problem has already been around in my teenage yrs till now... im not gd with my words... sometimes things i say might offend ppl without knowing.. so wanna say sorry to those i have offended or irritated...

Yupz... after everything... i feel much better.... thanks again for the concerns... i am thankful that my frens would point out wats wrong and gave me a chance... and most of all wanna thank God that i have wonderful frens around me despite of me straining the frenship unknowningly... may our frenships strengthen and move to another level =)

Hopeful

Hi there... Wanna Thank Those who shown thier concern... all ur concerns reassure me in someways... was mugging EC2303 today and think about what should i start to do to pull myself out from the pit... I know myself to be very poor in terms of PR (People Relationship)... I am very random and kind of lame... for the past many yrs trying very hard to improve my PR skills... i know sometimes i talk to ppl... ppl tend to think i am a very proud person... actually i also dunno about it until ppl told me... yupz... dunno why i feel kind of inferior when i make eye contact with ppl... but will try my best to do more... yupz... think i should start to work on things that i have... rather than focus too much on things that i don't have... trying to put in more effort in building quality frenships... i know it will take some time... but will try my best... yeah.... at the same time think gotta study well to do well for this semester.... tml will mark the end of 1st half of the semester... mid terms are coming... gotta buckle up the seatbelt and go forth in full gear soon....

Therefore, i feel much better now... i know is kind of hard to cope with the uncertainty now... but i know it takes time for things to work out... although i know along the way there might be more dissapointments but i know i will still able to see the sun shine again... yeah... everything will be afresh now and forget the past.... Although i fell... but i will stand up and walk again... once again the title... keep walking =) Thanks ppl once again!

Acceptance

This word has been in my head for quite while when i took cab home from school... Yeah indeed life is kind of hard for me emotionally and mentally... anyway watever i blog is not holding against anyone... is just my personal thought... is just a place to express my fustration and disillusioness within me... I felt kind of very lousy recently... is like back to the point i used to feel this way a few yrs ago... things dun seem to improve... things continue to be uncertain.... many things are beyond my control... wad i can do is to do my best and hope... the word "Acceptance" is the main word that bother my life now.... is the biggest handicap of my life... which makes me having a heavy and sunken heart...

I can recall during my grow up yrs when i used to stay in Toh Yi (Bukit Timah)... I used to have a fixed group of frens in the neighbourhood i knew and we play and hang out through of childhood yrs... i used to remember i got a fren called Cher Fong whom is younger than me 1 yrs old... the days we go out have fun everyday... do all sorts of things... play table tennis... block catching... arcade.... go to places togther... that kind of close frenship we had... and then during sec sch days we belong to the same sec sch... i got to know a fren called Andy Raymond they all... that was also one of my cherished times i had with my frens... although sometimes i got bully by my frens like they fly u aeroplane and Pang seh u... i still treasure them as my frens... thats one of the close frenships i forged during my growing up yrs....

Now i kind of missed the days i had close frens... frens i can depend on whom i can tell my darkest secrets... frens who gave me the assurance that im being accepted... after Secondary school... After that things seems to go bad... too cut the long story short... the i felt rejected many parts of my life... Rejections seems to huant me like a terror in life until now... After stepping into church my life started to change... i no longer being so depress (not as bad as before)... but still this problem still trap inside of me... i took many huge step of faith to make frens... many of u all thought im very sociable and have many frens... but thats just quantity... wad i really looking for is quality... i yearning for the assurance of acceptance...

Maybe thats why many ppl think im too nice... they got kind of paraniod of me... only those who knows me very well i meant no harm... sometimes i am so hungry for acceptance that i look for it in the wrong place... which give me more and more dissapointments... is very hurtful to be rejected when u are nice to them... many being unappreciative for the things u done for them.... im and sick and tired... my rantings does not hold anyone with anything... is i just feel fustrated why things turn out like this... depsite of trying my best to be a nice fren a nice person to trys to help as much as he can for his frens... i know some of my frens they are kind of busy i do not hold anything with them.. is just me... the spirit of rejection keep huanting me telling me lies in my head until i can't stand it... maybe becos of this i tend to think too much... reading too much or deep into ppl's repsonse which lead to uncessary worries... certain reactions might even trigger the sense of rejection... thats how bad it might go... many of the times i wanna overcome these... stop thinking too much and too negative... where things might not turn out as bad as it could be...

I hope i can pull myself together once again... finding the security in myself again... finding the assurance of acceptance... praying very hard everyday for things to be better.... continueing holding the hope that ppl in my life will being to accept me a a gd fren... building more closer and strong frenships... and ultimately find a special person in my life.... i know i cannot let this problem i have paralyse me... but i feel so weak now... im tired... im discouraged... but i still beleive the sun will still shine one day....

Longest Valley

Somehow in my life especially this season since mid of the year i have been in the Valley for like months... yupz.... long long recession... I wonder when can i walk out of this Valley or Recession... that's y feel kind of cranky in my mood recently... so if my crankiness affects u very sorry about it... yeah... wanna thank ppl who talked to me recently... yeah i seriously having a struggling time now... yeah... when will i see the sun shine again? who knows? yeah... things seem to be very messy now... soon mid terms are coming... today i feel so crap even in class i am totally switched off that kind... hmmmm.... trying to keep a good countenance everyday...trying to smile and joke around possible... yeah... still hoping for gd things to come

Uncertainty

Somehow the word "Uncertain" might describe how i feel recently... many things around me are so uncertain... which i kind of =( ... Uncertainty really paralyse someone in the sense that they do not know where to head too... somehow got lost somewhere... trying to find the way back to the path... hahaha think i think too much liaoz... hahah.... hope this will turn out well ba.... things will start to be clear... yeah... yupz...

Trying to start the engine to get into serious business in school... doing what a full time student should do ... rather than slacking away the time i have... trying hard to get into serious work... all the task i suppose to do the deadlines are nearing... mid term exams are nearing too... pls remind Kynneth to study ok? =)

Sat just had O comm dinner... had a great time with them... food is good.. yeah... trying to get the pictures... Juling, Caleb and Sandra pls send me the pictures!!! pls pls pls!!!

Anyway thinking of where to go to travel at the end of the yr... will post my ideas and suggestions soon =)

Best of Arts Camp 07 & Oweek 07

Arts Camp 07: Precamp

Oweek 07: Precamp

Arts Camp 07: Tee Vee Land

Oweek 07 : The Big O