Job Search

Job search so far has been tough in such period... all the companies whom express interest recruiting me are financial planning and wealth managament... which somehow i am not interested in... today i received a call from a recruitment agency whom arranged an interview with me being a business development manangement trainee... my very first interview... i should give a shot to it... if success gd... if not is my chance to get exposed to a formal interview with an employer... so far been sending out resumes after resumes... job application is a tedious job and very demoralising if companies dun get back to u after sending 10s and 20 application which u need to fill them up online one by one over and over again...

Recently i am very lost especially when NUS school term starts... now currently i am involved in Run NUS and it seems dat i can't bear to leave school.... NUS is a place i really experience a lot of changes in my life.... really been thru a lot academically and also emotionally.... i really really hope once i step in work life i can find a new meaning of life once again... or even be back to the positive me... there is a lot of things on my mind... but i guess i am not going to share here cos there are many F**kers out there.... so well if u really wanna know u gotta dig it out from me personally...

Toh Yi Drive

Toh Yi Drive is the place i grew up from a children to a teenager for a period of 10 yrs since end of 1989 to mid of 1999... It is the place i spend my happiest decade in a nice and peaceful nayborhood environment.... everytime i goes back to Toh Yi Drive... my heart is filled with excitement and nostalgic feeling that i am back to place i grew up... many fond memories keep reminiscing in my mind.... there is a few accounts that i purposfully made a trip there and even went up to the unit i lived.... moving out from there really pinches my heart... i still remember the news broke out that we have to move in a few months time really saddens me.... On the day i moved out i feel down and can't bear to... i even ask my parents to let me stay in the empty house for 1 more day to experience it the very last day staying there.... Many fond memories of frens i made there and we are really a sticky bunch which we meet almost everyday after school and during vacations.... the playground is the place we had fun, roleplay and discuss about stuff as a kid.... during my teenage years we continue the tradition (minus the playground playing and roleplaying but we hang out in arcades and food places for supper and even went to town together)... with the same purpose... spending time with one another.... i can still remember the longest frenship i had was with Cher Fong.... we knew each other during tuition when i was primary 3 at a tuition teacher's house.... we still hang out even though i moved out until i was in poly that we lost contact... the other fren i had i hang out mostly when i was in primary school was my naybor Darryl which we play soccer under void decks... i sometimes visted his hse to play... as time pass i knew a fren through cher fong called Raymond Junius that we hang out often to play arcade, eat and even play at his house... staying overnight chiong all those Playstation games and Sega Saturn.... so many fond memories.... i can never forget... its really my happiest 10 years of my life.... i feel accepted though i am bullied sometimes which i took those bullies as acceptance.... i spend most time with ppl and frens.... i even accepted Christ in a house when i was primary 5 during thier so called cellgroup outreach at some person house having egg tarts... yes i can remember i was holding an egg tart saying my sinner's prayer...

After Leaving Toh Yi Drive... i can never find back the company i used to had there... the nearest was during Poly went i met Raymond Ling which he brought me to City Harvest Church... but nothing can be compared to the days back at Toh Yi Drive... I really hope i can meet someone or some people that can bring me out of this and move into a new era where i can remember fondly the times we had and not lost each other until we go heaven.... yes i am thirsty for geniune frenship that we spend lots of time together like a family... which i still searching for willing souls that could make dat dream come to pass... some suggest i should get a girlfren... but is also another source of dissapointment to me due to rejections... yupz... haha i am fine... i can only hope and see wad i can do to make dat dream come to pass...

Thank You!

I never expect this card to be given to me during Hua Cheng's Sports Camp PD Treat... well i was very surprised and touched.... thought i hint runi dat i never receive a photo collage b4 in my 26 yrs of life... but such card alrdy made me feel appreciated and loved... thanks ppl... I wanna take this opportunity to thank my sports camp O comm.... this will be quite long and draggy but such things cannot be missed out or omit out.... First thing First... i wanna Thank....

1) My HR Crew Aayush and Jane... First I wanna thank Aayush for helping me with Councillor and Freshman Recruitment... you da man!!! thought there is hiccups along the way but i truely appreciate what you have done and frenship i had with you! not forgeting the work of being Emcee, Forfiet IC and our official Lorry Driver... you contribute a lot to Sports Camp Kudoos to you! Good job! Next i wanna thank Jane for her help with the administrative works and also some help with Councillor and more help in freshman recruitment.... also wanna thank you for being Aunty Agony for me and also the frenship i had with you... i really appreciate what you did and your contributions to Sports camp outside your jobscope.... My no.1 favourite PA and being there for me when i need help and when i am down =)

2) My Secretary Huimin... Thanks for helping Sports Camp by Dessminating Info to the O Comm... rally the O Comm. and doing the scoring! You are such a nice girl.... MIN MIN! lol...

3) Publicity which is Wen Hao and Felly... Wen Hao thanks for doing all the Singlets, posters and Banner... together with open house stuff... and not forgeting the NUSSU Mailrun! depsite of your busy schedules you still contibute to Sports Camp i really appreciate it and also the frenship we had esp the days we go back our respective home together... thanks fren.... Next Felly... wah... this girl is such a nice girl... not only wanna thank you for your work and effort as a publicity girl... i also wanna thank you for being there for me anytime i need help and company... you are truely a nice sweet girl i know in SC09.... i got so many things to thank you till words alone aren't enough... All the best going to France and take care k?

4) Marketing which is Zhen Biao, Oliver, Yuxi and Justin... wanna thank you all for the hardwork i put into Sports Camp and getting good deals for Sports Camp... wanna appreciate wad u have done especially the irritating follow up with the companies and sponsers... I wanna thank Zhen Biao for the frenship i had with him and always being a nice guy.... take care while you are overseas.... I wanna Thank Oliver for helping out in Sports Camp especially at Frolicks for 5 hours ALONE!.... Yuxi for the nice chats and company home with you... and Justin for the frenship! =)

5) Logisitics which is Terence, Michelle, Sean adn Rudy... i wanna thank you all for being the silent warrior in Sports Camp... your contrubitions are very important to Sports Camp to make Sports Camp a success... thought i dunno you all well... but i do notice you effort and hardwork... nice knowing you alll! Special note to michelle: thanks for helping with the food... which we directors don;t have to worry about it at all feeding the hungry campers... thanks for coming back! Wed JB ah!

6) Programmes which is a lot of people... i shall go through one by one... *Breath on deep breathe* here it goes....

Tashrif! Irritating Emcee for Sports Camp... hahah thanks for planning the beach games and pool games... indeed the freshies had fun... wanna thank you for the help in driving the lorry and the frenships i had with you... telling gd things about me to others while others give me bad comments.... thanks tashrif! 1 Minah for you! :P kekeke...

Next Eunice... thanks for the frenship and the care and concern u showered upoon me.... i will remember what you have done not only during sports camp but also in my personal life.... thanks so much and i appreciate it.... pls pls get new swim suit ok? :P

Next Teddy... wah Sports Camp Gay Boy... but it was fun working with you and wanna thank you for ur effort and contributions during pageant and SP.... you truely bring the fun and whacky element into Sports Camp by being the Forfiet ICs....

Next Geraldine... hahaha wanna thank you for the willingness to help and the efforts you put in during SP and Pageant.. thanks for the frenship i had with you and your willingness to do things that made my life much easier... which i think you are a great fren who is willing to be there and help when times of need... thanks Geraldine, stay pretty and congrates for meeting your yandaos during SG Vs Liverpool haha...

Next wanna thank Shao mei for conducting the indoor and outdoor station games which outdoor station games did not materialise due to bad weather.... i can see you are a silent worker which made the games to be fun and interesting for Sports camp.... really wanna thank you for your effort

And also Valerie thanks for the contirbuting in the station games and the company for dinner with you...

Next Chew Swee... our Sports Camp most Garung and Enthu O commer.... if got such award i sure give you! hahaha thanks for the help in the camp in Nite cycling .... which everyone come back in one pieces in bustling traffic in town... not easy job... thanks for bringing the fun and enthu factor into sports camp being our official Emcee and Fortfiet IC... Think Sports Camp will miss out a lot without you! Therefore I do appreciate everything that you have done... all the best! 1st Class Hons all the way for ur CS! =)

Next Jasalin! wah our Loanshark in times of need man... hahah! wanna thank you for ur effort in Night cycling with Cs... well done job.... Thanks for the frenship i had with you and also i really enjoy working with you... an efficient worker! hahaha hope to see you soon man... you always MIA now sia... my house gathering must come ok? keke! oh oh! i help you submit you claim liao =)

Next Lubin aka LuLu boy hahahaha thanks for the contributions in Amazing Race and the sub club showcases... gd job! thought i never talk to you much... but u had been a gd fren =) great working and knowing you!

Next Carmen our table tennis Champion! hahahah i waiting to have a match to get trashed by you hahah! thanks for ur contribution in Sports Camp! do apprieciate the work and aliasing with the sub club ppl even though u are busy! =)

Next Tamsyn! my fellow partner being a carnivore rawr!! haha thanks for contributing to Sports Camp and your frenship... like company me for lunch in school when i got no company... hahaha i do remember the good times we had in school and in camp! thanks so much for the gd job done for amazing race! tennis soon and BBQ Chix! =)

Sheng Hui! Quack Quack! wah one of our most chio O Commer hahaha! nice knowing you in Sports Camp and also in SAA hahaha! thanks for the hardwork you contribute to sports camp and the planning for Amazing race and the showcases also... indeed i see you put in a lot of effort seeing u often in clubroom making sure amazing race runs well in the planning stages... hahaha i love you whack expressions and your reactions... hahaha it really amuse and make me happy when u react to certain things when my first impression of you of being quiet and very extremely demure... hahah! oops =X

Forgetten about some ppl... not yet... i wanna thank Boon Hui for his rentless effort in helping Sports Camp book venue.... eat all the shellings from SRC and OSA... get air con for the freshies.... accomodations.... wah too many to name... thanks for the hardwork u done in sports camp! i do appreciate your efforts and nice having HTHT with you in clubroom about certain camp issues... haha jia you for school... u quickly grad la.. u also damn old hahah!

Runi! oh gosh.... the little but dangerous one... i very scared when u get angry u know... but nice working with u and understanding me depsite of me being very attitude and lazy at certain point of time... words are definately not enough to express my gratidue to you! indeed you contribute rantlessly to sports camp and helping me with certain stuff... i do do do appreciate ya and thank you for the partnership and alliance with you! =) and not forgeting the small things you done for me as a fren outside of sports camp.... i am really touched by what you done and yupz being my aunty agony during sports camp planning when i almost cannot take it as my capacity quite low one and my inability to multi task.... i know u concerned about my future and keep asking me get a wife... so THANK YOU so much Fathi! :P

Hua Cheng... Thanks for leading sports Camp to a success though what u said during the thank you speech is true being pushy... but i think still managable... cos i all for the sake of sports camp... bringing the best out to the freshman and councillors... i do appreciate of what you have done and i know you have sacrifice a lot for sports camp... though both our working styles very different... but i am glad to work with you..... again words are not enough to expression my gratitude to you of bringing sports camp another level up.... do take care in France and all the best! (We made fun of you cos we love you as o comm hahah!)

Zhong Hao... ahhh! this guy cannot forget one.. cos he is the money man for sports camp! thanks for helping us with the claims and all financial matters... wanna thank your efficiency and help rendered in the camp... thanks for the treat at crystal jade too! =)

In all i wanna thank all the freshman and councillor for making sports camp a success even though H1n1 comes in and disrupt the fun... but i truely hope everyone had fun, enjoyed themselves and most importantly forge meaningful frenships! though i dun have the chance to thank everyone thru the mic... but i wanna take this chance to thank you all!

YOYO SPORTS CAMP!!!!! YOYO WASSUP!!! SC ROX!!!!

Song No. 400

Sometimes songs really expresses how u felt deep inside your heart... =)

Anyway on the lighter tone... i changed my desktop background... better than the bristol tool thingy by shu han... :p something i took during manado trip which i think is quite nice... though i dun have strobes to bring out the reef colour...

Manado Trip 2009 Photos:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=90458&id=502259323&l=88d6db14a8

and

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=89931&id=502259323&l=4394dffb08

Post Manado 2009 Feelings

Manado trip this year was good trip... had a company from a fren i know during dive camp and she is a wonderful company... many ppl on the island though we are gf bf or even husband and wife (She complain abt this as this is too old for her).... but we are just pure diving frens nothing more than that... hahaha dats y we can share a lot of things from a neutral point of view.... So wanna take this chance to thank YY for the company for the trip! =)

Diving at Bunaken was fantastic... wall diving is awesome to the max.... dropoff up till 2000+m the reefs are beautiful and its occupied by many many marine life like schools and schools of fish... visibility is rather good... and had a gd time with the ppl on the island and the locals as we visited Bunaken Village after my dive at Bunaken... Thanks Ken for the good host and guiding... Only down side is there is not enough meat dishes during the trip :(

After Bunaken we moved Lembeh Straits for Muck Diving.... totally difference dimension of diving from bunaken as visbility is only maximum 8m, whereas in Bunaken you have 20 to 30m visibility... Diving there is pretty awesome too as there are many weird critters on the black volcanic sand... i really enjoyed the stay at lembeh as it is cosy and a swizz couple really make both of our time at lembeh a enjoyable one especially the last night.... the Scenery at lembeh is awesome with active volcanoes right opposite our resort.... Thanks Sam for the sharp eyes looking for the critters and the resort stuff which make the stay so pleasent (especially the guys who cooked my maggie goreng almost everyday).

Overall the diving experience is a great one... had many photos and video but i guess it takes a lot of effort to upload them as there are too many... my camera housing also starting to have minor leaks which i might be out of photography for long, if not i gotta risk even more serious leaks if it gets worse. Bunaken and Lembeh stary skies i will never forget as it is so beautiful as it fills the skies totally at night... me myself i keep thinking about a person which i find it quite puzzling... never had such experience for a long time that i keep thinking about a specific person... even at 36.5m at a wreck in the midst of the dive together with other times like at night looking at the stary skies, before sleep, waiting for dives and in the midst of other dives.... hmmm maybe is just a one sided affair... which i dunno how it goes.... i am now half hoping and half scared cos i still hold on to hopes but still too many rejections and dissapointments in the past keep huanting me during such random thoughts about that someone.... sighz.. is quite tormenting acutally....

Putting those aside... now i kind of get used to waking up at 7am and sleep at 10am after 8 days of Bunaken and Lembeh as the sun rises like 4+am and sets at 5+pm.... now at 8am after 1 hour of procrastination i decided to blog about this.... now reality starts to come in after 8 days of holidays.... i am kind of lost a bit actually.... sports camp and job hunting is now the main priority and also catching up with ppl who really appreciates me... you know who you are... jio me out ok? =)

Oh oh one annoucement i wanna make... i finally graduated!!!! wheeee!!!! wanna thank everyone who made this possible especially my Uni friends and my parents =) too many to list... you know who you are! ppl from Yellow House peeps, Arts Club 26th and 27th peeps , Econs module frens, Rag frens, Sports Camp 08 09 peeps, Dive club, Sports Club peeps and more!

Challenges after challenges

Everysince i last updated my blog... i have been really busy preparing for sports camp... i have been a firefighter everyday fighting "fire" of freshman drop out due to injuries, H1n1 close contact, Kena Quarantine, not feeling well and more... i have to keep getting replacment even until day zero.... when the camp started... i have to do double job due to a irresponsible treasurer which i have handle all the money issues myself from the mess she created... i feel deprived as i got many stuff to think abt and to do until i dun have time to enjoy myself and interact with the camp... worse day 2 stuck in school.... and worse of all h1n1 visited sports camp.... which the camp stopped abruptly leaving many ppl lost and busy....

after going through so much... i still think organising sports camp is worth it... though i know i have limited capablity and weakness... like unable to multiask and being easily short circuited... i do apologies to anyone whom i offend when i am stressed... but i really felt organising sports camp is very meaningful and my o comm is awesome (Except certain irresponsible ppl). i am glad i have Hua Cheng and Runi with me too which they are very patient with me even with my shortcoming... yupz i heart sports camp! no regreting it and willing to do even though i graduated...

After the camp was given an order to stop. everyone was indeed dissapointed... a lot of why and what happened? but well decision has to be made to break camp for the safety of the rest... but i felt this might be a blessing in disguise... i can see the ppl are more bonded and i see the gd side of humanity... ppl concern with one another and catching up online... i think Sports Camp part 2 will be a blast when everyone is back healthy and h1n1 free! =)

Trapping alone at home is kind of bored and leads me wondering too many things... which is no gd... some would have know my mood wasn't too good... yeapz.. i am fine... i guess i am not a very fortunate person to live a life of blessings... gotta suck it up.... from being very busy to suddenly trap at home doing nothing except the post admin and h1n1 admin... i feel very lost indeed and easily irritable...

But on the brighter side... tml is my big day... Commencement 2009! i finally graduated from NUS... wow... its a miracle to be in NUS... and finnaly i made it... i am not a very smart person which i guess is the work of God for me to achieve this... my academic robe and mortar board is rdy for tml's occassion... those who are graduating with me... take photo with me! =)

Can I Do It?

For the next few days till Mid July.... i seriously ask myself a question.... Can i do it? Can i make it? idk......

Happy Bday to Me

Sorry for the late update... been very busy lately settling sports camp admin and money issues... 1 week ago was my bday was pretty glad my o comm celebrate for me... veeting me and splashing cake on me... which i feel quite appreciated... but before all these .... i wasn't expecting dat much too cos i really had a bad past... but was glad for them taking the effort to celebrate... appreciate it lots.... though i feel kind of sad my old pals from NUS didn't celebrate for me... for like 2 yrs... but i guess i gotta go on with it.... i was very disappointed with church ppl as i concluded dat they celebrate my bday base on membership not friendship... pardon me i say this but is very true for me now... which i gotta confess... when u are in the cell group they just celebrate and do it so dat they fulfil their duties as a Christians... but when u are not... somehow they disappear from u during ur bday and some just send msgs... which is like this yr... where are no where to be found... i do know some ppl are sincere to send such msgs... but overall i am really disappointed with church now more and more... i know its not God's fault... maybe i am just unfortunate to meet such ppl.... after a week on the bus after Hua Cheng celebration at City hall marina square... i suddenly feel a dip in my emotions and feeling down.... is like i wonder will i be able to find a friend who can really standby me until i grow old... someone who genuinely loves me for who am i.... so that i can really be comfortable... i tried to find it in church cos God is love and i dun find emotional love at home... but well i guess i have lost it all.... now friends who are unchurch are more concern about me than churched ppl... even if they are they rather be passive and keep quiet about it.... when i am at my deepest lowest point of life... where are they? when i am ostracised by ppl by untrue rumour... where are they? after so much disappointments... i am currently allergic to cell groups.... so ppl who just wanna recruit me in their CGs and make thier CG look bigger and so dat they can meet thier target and make thier CGLs happy... shooo go away i do not need you... those who thought sitting around and waiting for me to join ur CGs. also shoo go off and i will bite....

Multi Tasking

Yeah i admit i suck at multi tasking.... doing booth duty for 8 hours being handicapped by not being able to multi task is very tiring and sometimes easily irritable....especially you are handling money.... but gotta suck it up, tahan and do it... but very pleased so far the money tallies and forms are ok.... so anyone whom i show a darn tensed and fierce face... or i am very hostile talking to you... or i get impatient... pls pardon me....

One Hour of Anxiety

Today has been rather an unlucky day... i almost lost my Concession Pass when i took a bus to meet Runi to shop for house identity logistics for the various house for Sports Camp.... but in the end i got it back... i was very fortunate... i call the interchange in time before the bus left the interchange... it was on 198 that i lost it and thank to Hua Cheng's Call.. yupz.. the card drop out while i pull my handphone out... sighz... but well its over... was rather traumatised after the incident... lucky i was cool enough to stop think and act and manage to get it back...